


bewitched, bothered, and bewildered

by hullomoon



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Fluff, M/M, Temporary Amnesia, Witch Patrick Brewer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hullomoon/pseuds/hullomoon
Summary: When David forgets about Patrick's magic, Patrick recruits some friends to help out
Relationships: Patrick Brewer & Rachel, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 22
Kudos: 73
Collections: Schitt's Creek Trick Or Treat





	bewitched, bothered, and bewildered

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:**
> 
> Bewitched AU
> 
> I got so happy to see this prompt as I have fond memories of watching Bewitched when I was a kid. I know in some ways it would have been easier to have David as Samantha but I just love the idea of it being Patrick. Since I didn't have enough time to take on a full AU I decided to have the story follow the vibe of the show.
> 
> title comes from the ella fitzgerald song of the same name because my sister is a troll

Patrick’s day was going well, the Apothecary was in the black this quarter, and the order of organic applesauce that he thought would be delayed ended up on time. So of course, that was when things went sideways. Patrick heard the rip of paper and then coughing. He walked out from the back to see David bent over coughing still, as he waved the air in front of him.

“Are you alright?” Patrick asked as he gently patted David’s back.

David let out another cough and straightened up. “I opened this letter from Rachel, and this dust came out of it.”

Patrick glanced at the counter where the letter sat. He picked it up.

_Patrick,_

_Let’s see if you do as good as you say you would._

_-Rachel_ ❤️️

“What’s Rachel talking about?” David asked.

Patrick wracked his brain coming up blank. “I don’t know. I’ll ask her when I see her next week.” He walked to the back and brought the last box of the applesauce to the front. He carefully placed each one, lining them up to David’s specifications. 

“Patrick, do you know where the ladder is? I need to get something from the top shelf.”

He looked over to see David standing next to the back cabinet. “What do you need, I can get it.”

David raised a brow. “If I need the ladder to reach it you definitely need it.” He pointed up. “It’s that blanket.”

Patrick looked at the blanket and wiggled his nose. The blanket moved from the top shelf to David’s hand.

David dropped the blanket. “How the fuck did you do that?” he exclaimed.

“Uh, magic,” Patrick replied before turning back to the applesauce.

“You can’t just reply with magic like that makes perfect sense.”

Patrick frowned. “I think after being together for five years you would be used to it.”

David placed his hands on his hips. “I don’t remember any magic. I would remember if magic was involved in our relationship.”

“Please don’t say that our relationship is ‘magical,’ I heard that enough after I told you I was a witch.”

“Excuse me, you’re a witch!?” 

Patrick grew concerned. David seemed to be freaking out, and it didn’t make any sense. David had known that Patrick was a witch after he blurted it out during their night at Stevie’s. He walked over to David and placed his hands on David’s arms. “Do you remember our night at Stevie’s?”

David’s eyes had been looking throughout the room but at Patrick’s question, they scanned his face. “I remember Jake showed up to get Stevie, and you told me about Rachel.”

Patrick let out a small sigh. “That did happen, but I also talked about how I was a witch and that I was worried about how I was going to tell you. That’s why I had been with Rachel for so long. Since we both were, it made it easy, I never had to explain myself.” He gave a wry grin. “If I had known I was gay maybe I would have settled down with another guy witch, but then I met you.”

“I-I don’t remember that part.” David’s voice hitched. 

Patrick guided David to the stool. “How about you sit down and I’ll call Twyla and Ray.” 

“Okay.”

He pulled out his phone and texted Twyla and Ray to come to the store. He tried to think about how David could forget about this. Patrick used magic constantly, once he told David he didn’t keep it from anyone. 

A pop sound interrupted his thoughts, and a shout from David caused him to turn his head to see Ray and Twyla in the store.

“Hi, Patrick. Hi David,” Ray cheerily said as he waved.

“I thought you had finally got used to us popping in, David,” Twyla said.

Patrick rubbed a hand down his face. “He did. Except now he’s somehow forgotten that I’m a witch and judging by his response on seeing you, I think he’s just forgotten about magic in general.”

“Ooh, do you know what caused it?” Ray asked.

“I can’t think of anything really. It didn’t happen until we got to the store today.”

“One time my third cousin turned into a frog. Maybe it’s like that?” Twyla said as she walked to the back of the store, critically staring at the ceiling.

“Wasn’t that self-inflicted though? I don’t think David did this unless he has some latent power that none of us have noticed.” Ray replied.

David stood up and waved a hand. “Hello, non-witch here, and I would love to be included in a conversation that’s about me.”

Patrick walked over to him and gently rubbed his back. “Sorry about that. We promise to include you in the conversation.”

“Patrick, what’s this about?” Ray asked. He held up Rachel’s letter in one hand.

“Oh, it’s some strange letter Rachel wrote.”

“Can we open it?” Twyla asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. I don’t think it’ll be helpful though.”

Ray opened the letter. “If we can’t figure out what’s going on we can bring her in and see if she has any ideas.”

Ray and Twyla read the note, eyes growing wider as they continued. “Uh, Patrick I think I might know what this is about,” Twyla said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think Rachel probably would explain it best though.”

“Oookay,” Patrick replied as he pulled out his phone to text Rachel. The last time he had seen her was during the monthly witch meeting. He had gotten so drunk that he couldn’t blink back to the cottage and instead had to have David pick him up. Apparently, he had been very entertaining due to his sporadic magic. At one point he had turned his hair blue and caused David to laugh so hard he cried.

He heard a soft pop, and then Rachel appeared. From the corner of his eye, he saw David flinch.

“What’s up, Patrick?”

“We have a bit of a problem, David has forgotten about magic.”

Rachel’s eyes widened and she turned to David. “Did you open the letter I sent?”

David frowned. “Yeah. Also, can I just say all of you just popping up everywhere,” he waved a hand, “not a fan.”

Rachel slapped a hand to her face. “Ah, fuck David that letter was for Patrick, I’m sorry. I wrote his name on it and everything, why did you open it?”

“Honestly, it was from you so I didn’t really think about it.”

Rachel turned back to look at Patrick. “So remember the last witch meeting?”

“Not really, I got pretty drunk.”

She rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, we started talking about what it would be like not to use magic and you bragged that you could go a whole day without using it. You’re so competitive I thought you should put your money where your mouth is. It was supposed to be a prank, I didn’t expect David to open it.”

Patrick felt a twinge of irritation. “Rach, tell me you can fix this.”

She gave a hesitant smile. “I really can’t since I’m not sure how it would affect him. What I can tell you is it wears off in twenty-four hours.”

“Okay, well that’s better than I thought.”

“Um, so do you need us anymore, because if you don’t Ray and I were actually having a meeting,” Twyla piped up.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry Ray, Twyla, yeah you can leave. Thanks for helping out.”

They gave a quick wave and popped out of the room.

Patrick crossed his arms. “You know you owe me now right?”

Rachel sighed. “I’m going to your family’s annual forest scavenging aren’t I?”

“Well, David has never been interested and it’s a lot easier with help.”

“Fine, but if it rains I’m leaving.”

Patrick held out his hand. “Deal.”

Rachel took his hand and shook it.

\---

It was late at night, both tucked in bed. Patrick was proud of David for how he handled today. He made a mental note to go to Elmdale that weekend to pick up the cheese danishes that David liked.

“So.” David started, elbow propping his head. “How exactly does your magic work? Like I know it’s all in the nose, but if I wiggled it could I make magic happen?”

Patrick grinned. “We had this conversation the first time I told you about magic.”

David reached over and wiggled Patrick’s nose. “Damn.”

“So, what did you want to happen?” Patrick drawled.

“I wanted the gingersnaps that are in the kitchen.”

Patrick wiggled his nose and the gingersnaps were on the bed.

“How could you live without magic, this is fantastic,” David swooned as he shoved a gingersnap into his mouth.

“Mmm, you’re welcome.” Patrick leaned over and gave David a quick kiss.

\---

“I remember our honeymoon.”

Patrick lifted his head to see David poking through the curtain. “Oh, I see you remember magic again.”

David moved to lean on the doorframe. “Yes, and I don’t even have magic but I do not want to experience forgetting it ever again.”

Patrick walked over and pinned David to the wall. He kissed David underneath his jaw, before moving to whisper in his ear. “I would say let’s try that night from our honeymoon again, but we have to open the store.”

David gave out a low groan. “Can’t you just use your magic to do the work?”

He pulled away from David. “Nope,” he cheerily replied as he walked over to the front door to open the store.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to chat i'm [hullomoon](http://hullomoon.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!


End file.
